Friday, April 17, 2009.

class camp over, and honestly I felt class camp was GREAT and FANTABULOUS. really, stuff like chek jawa and "cross the line" were quite unforgettable and random retarded stuff like groundsheet-running and "pepsi-cola" really made our day.

but something struck me the most after this whole class camp.

i realised i really wanted to remain as a small boy forever.

yes it may sound retarded but i really felt so.

as the instructor said, the world today lacks that human touch. everything, thanks to technology, has become so impersonal. people care only for grades, not about friends. people only care about pleasing their boss and rising ranks, not about making friends with everyone.

when i was a small boy i was stress-free. I didn't have to worry at all about grades. I remember only making friends with people, not worrying about their character because everyone was pure at heart.

I can't say so now. In the adult world, people backstab. people scheme behind others' back. the world is full of distrust. friendships are so superficial! how many of them are real? how many of them are true and genuine?

i really don't dare to step out of my childhood. i don't want to be exposed to people whom i cannot trust. i don't want some 1984-airstrip-one thing where no one trusts each other!

i want a world where everyone is innocent, pure and nice, where people actually trust each other. i want these friendships.

i don't want to grow up.

another thing that really struck our minds as we talked about it yesterday in the middle of the night was life after jc. jc feels so short. it's only what, 18 months left?

and after that we separate.

girls go to uni. guys to NS, scholars to uni.

and that's it. most of the people we know disappear from our lives forever. we won't ever be back together, properly. nothing can unite us back.

and i don't want that to happen! throughout the years (even this year), i've made a lot of friends. some really really really good ones in fact. and why why would it be good if we just let the friendship die off? i cannot bear for that to happen!

and that's why i really want to be a small boy forever.

Labels: friends, Life