Saturday, June 28, 2008.

smo was horrendous. especially for such an easy paper. couldn't believe i spent 1.5 hrs trying to do a simple qn and still miss out the proof.

anyway, i want to talk on the trip to nus rather than the actual thing itself.

as usual, i went to nus alone (cause no one lives in the east) and got off at buona vista mrt, and made my way to the bus-stop. There, i prepared to take out some questions to spam, when i turned my head (trying to look out for the bus) and saw someone.

I won't mention him by name throughout this post.

He looked exactly the same, even after these years. Maybe he grew bigger, i do not know. But what struck me was that he ACTED the same even after these years (rather, less of the moving around like a hyperactive monkey and more of the screaming). He fidgeted a lot and kept walking up and down.

Suddenly, he went by the roadside, and screamed, "Why the hell am i here (in buona vista on a saturday morning) for?"

Everyone stared at him.

I tried NOT to stare at him.

He then vanished from sight, and then amazingly came back, much to my relief.

Initially I was worried that he was really lost, but my fears were hardly founded. He was also going for smo, and luckily he got on bus 95 when it came.

I predicted he would act like this. When I saw him coming towards me i roughly knew. But what I didn't predict was the screaming. that made me quite guilty as i sat there.

I knew him for 3 years. I wasn't the kindest of people to him (i was hardly kind to him), but I knew i wasn't kind and tried to treat him nicely (whenever i could). It was hardly his fault, yet (to say the truth) it wasn't our fault either.

Then we lost touch (to tell the truth I (with many others) didn't bother keeping in touch with him), and only periodically saw him. So i never got to communicate with him for 4 years (partly of choice), yet his impression was so strong (during the 3 years) when i saw him today i could instantly recognise him without hesitation.

What i felt guilty about was the part about helping him. I sat there, acting oblivious to him, although i recall there was once or twice where our eyes met, but he didn't recognise me and I didn't take the effort to say hi.

He needed help, i was certain of that. If i had went up and said hi to him i was sure that he wouldn't be so worried and lost as it was the case. Now i feel bad because i didn't go up to him and said hi. After all we were classmates, so i regret that very much.

the next time i meet him i am going to go up to him and say hi. no matter what.

Labels: Life