Saturday, July 19, 2008.

edited note (20/07) -

arrgh how i wish blogger was as good as livejournal.

I was planning to actually minimise this post, such that everyone who wanted to see it could see and everyone who did not want to see it could choose not to.

Call me mad, but I thought that was a really good idea.

I blogsurf a lot, and I start my daily dosage of blogsurfing by starting from my blog (duh).

To be honest, I can't bear to read this post again. I couldn't even bear to read Renhao's email to the Sec4s.

Letting go is just that tough.

note: This will not be posted to the RISE-08 yahoogroups, cause I see no need to spam the rest of the members with my droning and reminiscing, and that they wouldn't like it too. If you (actually, and thank you) find it worthy to be read by the rest of the CCA, feel free to post it on the egroups. If you intend to post it (which I would be honoured to see you do so), please do not post the postscript (for obvious reasons). Thanks.

To all fellow members of RISE:
This would have been my 12th email post in my history of RISE (see above), and will perhaps (barring other circumstances) be my last ever. What I experience now is perhaps something which you will probably only get to experience when you are like me, writing my last mail to all of you.

Last year, 2 of my seniors, Yu Zhou and Xue Qian (two whom I admire most deeply for their undying commitment and passion to RISE) wrote a similar farewell message, thanking everyone for a wonderful 4 years they had. And so I am here today as well, to thank each and every one of you, for teaching me so much these 4 years, and giving me a 2nd home for me to live in.

In Sec 1, I remembered the times I had playing Bridge with some of my fellow current-Sec 4s as well as my seniors. I was led in (prematurely, and wrongly, I think now) into this CCA by then-chairman, Jing Xun, who taught me all I had to know about RISE.

In Sec 2, Remus and Kevin left a great impression on me as I further got to know many more people and help the juniors (among which are some members of the 2009 ExCo (you know who :) ) join this great CCA. As I struggled to fit into my class, I found solace in my CCA, who had people of the same wavelength as me.

In Sec 3, I experienced SYF full-blast for the 1st time, and that was probably the hardest point of my life so far. The torturous practices, intense atmosphere and whatnot left me defenseless and frightened, but we managed to pull through, all 50++ of us, and got a standing ovation at Carnegie (which I hope I'll never forget for the rest of my life.)

The night before SYF, I remember myself with Shawn Neo and Mr. Ong (and someone, if you remember who you are tell me) at S11, very anxious about the next day. That was perhaps the 1st time in my life I ever felt like sacrificing all for my CCA, as everyone felt the pressure as a CCA. Shawn comforted me even as he had to undergo much more pressure than me (as concertmaster), and I truly felt how great my seniors were.

Now, in Sec 4, I stand here hoping I did leave a mark like my seniors. Through my constant nagging and bugging, I hope I managed to impact just one junior, for that would be enough. I, as a senior, feel that if my seniors managed to leave a mark on me, for me to succeed as a senior, I must have had impacted at least 1 junior.

And I hope I have succeeded. Only time will tell.

These 4 years have given me so much, in terms of memories, and there are people that can never be repaid even after countless times of thanking. Nevertheless, these people must be thanked.

1) Mr. Sze, for all your guidance and support. With you, we are what we are today, and I thank you sincerely for that.

2) Ms. Shen, for the behind-the-scenes admin. Working with you this year was a blessing for me, and I admire your dedication to our CCA.

3) Mr. Ong, for your tireless work in this CCA. Though you may know not that much as Ms. Shen or Mr. Sze, you still dedicate so much of your time (when you could have been marking my chem assignments or sleeping) to RISE, and for that, I salute you.

4) The ExCo of 2008, namely, Kai Cheng, Shang Xuan, Zhao Kai and Ben Wee, for all the crap you had to endure from me (especially Kai Cheng!) and all the support you gave me. Without you guys, RISE would never have achieved anything at all. We should go out for a drink sometime eh?

5) All my seniors for inspiring me in every way. Special mention MUST go out to Jing Xun, Sam Lim (the older one, not the younger one), Shawn Chang, Dom Seet, Remus, Kevin, Shawn Neo, Yu Zhou, David, Yiyang, Wang Xiang, Xue Qian, Adriel, Matthew, Yu Ze, Cheng Han, Nick Hsien, and Kuangnan for all that you have done for me, and I hope I have manaed to emulate you all this year.

6) Everyone in RISE now, my batchmates and my juniors, especially the ExCo '09, for making my years in RISE such a blast.

Now, as I stand here uttering my last words, I wish to impart some words of advice (how qualified I am to say these, I do not know), and I hope all of us can improve as a CCA (even when I am not around).

To the Sec 1s and those who joined us this year (Shuhuan) - Perhaps I won't ever officially work with you all again, but I hope you guys can help the next batch of Sec 1s assimilate into RISE easier. Next year will be a roller-coaster year for everyone (including me I hope), so stay strong, believe in one other (as I realised myself too, one's best friends in CCA will 100% be batchmates), and never give up. Whatever you do, you guys must make more friends, and make those bonds (not chem again. sigh.) stronger as you undergo what I would say is one of the hardest 6 months. Never give up!

To the Sec 2s: You guys will be Sec 3s, the long-pants users, and will lead the juniors for most part next year. The juniors will be lost, and you will be the beacon for them. Guide them through next year's tough life, teach them, speak to them (like how Shawn did so to me), show them the light and make them feel wanted in this CCA. The ExCo '09 needs you guys, and please help them through next year.

To the non-ExCo Sec 3s: You guys will be the biggest seniors, people whom the future Sec1s look up to, and people who are the best (in technical skills). As I told you guys privately during campaigning, please do help the ExCo no matter what. They need you guys, and the ensemble needs you guys. Give your heart and soul in RISE, for even if you don't get your CCA points you might have deserved (like Yu Zhou and Xue Qian), you at least get the respect from your juniors, which will last you forever.

To the ExCo of 2009: Hold on tight guys. Being in the ExCo requires dedication (which I can see in you all), hard work and teamwork. No matter what comes your way, do stay together as an ExCo and stay strong, even in the face of adversity. Lead the ensemble, inspire them and guide them through the rough seas of next year. And no matter what, remember - As (I know it's not good to quote this, but I find it particularly apt) Albus Dumbledore said (adapted), "You will always find that help will always be given at RISE to those who ask for it."

And to all of you,
The Sec 4s are leaving RISE, leaving behind this wonderful CCA in all of your hands. Do take care of it, and while you do so, learn from it and its vast treasures,
and (yeah, perhaps clichéd, but most apt),

Auspicium Melioris Aevi.

Lumpy
P.S. I teared one drop or two when I wrote this.

Why, I'm not too sure.

Is it because I miss RISE? Or is it because I feel insecure having to leave?

As Daron (Chairman '09) wrote yesterday on his blog (and I quote (w/o permission),)

"RISE BBQ last night, albeit mad and insane with the water bombs and all, left me feeling quite empty and sad after that.

after this we wouldn't have the sec 4s there anymore to help us and lead us, and now the weight of leading the ensemble has been passed to us.

it's sad, really. ): will really miss the sec4s, but i guess it's all part and parcel of growing up. promise to lead the ensemble to greater heights, or at least i hope :D"

And as I read this, I realised I had the exact same feeling he had when I was Sec 3.

Let me turn back the clock, and I would gladly join RISE 500 times over. Let me turn back the clock, and I would mark down with enthusiasm the period 3.30-6.30 on my timetable. Let me turn back the clock, and I would want to get water-bombed by everyone again.

Why, oh why, is leaving so difficult?

And as I ask myself why, I play Mahler's 9th symphony. The whole idea of his 9th was about how one accepts death, and leaving from this world.

It may sound too abstract, but that's exactly how I feel now.

And I thank RISE for having introduced me to this world of classical music.

Thank you RISE. I'll miss you.

Labels: CCA